Day 90 - April 28 - Mom's Obituary

Here is a picture of my mother in her senior year of college before she married my father.

1926 to 2013

OBITUARY FOR JEAN RICHARDS DANCE

__________

The dance may have ended, but her music and steps will stay with us forever.

Jean Richards Dance passed away peacefully at her home in Bellevue, Washington, on April 19^th, 2013.  Born February 13^th, 1926, in Garland, Utah, the third child of Elfie and Wilford Woodruff Richards—pictures from her childhood show the mischievous, confident grin of a girl raised on clean country air, good books, and limitless horizons.  Always bright and curious, Jean attended college at Utah State University where she graduated valedictorian.  It was there that she fell in love and married her sweetheart, David O. Dance, on October 8, 1947, in the Logan Utah Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

Jean and David had seven children together as they moved from Utah, to Idaho, to Washington—eventually settling in the Magnolia neighborhood of Seattle.  Imagine the dance of a mother of seven!  But dance she did, for the greatest joys in her life revolved around her devoted husband, her family, her faith, and service to the community.  Mom was both traditional and avant garde, and she brought her unique sensibility to everything she did—from throwing creative parties for New York Life executives to feeding fresh, experimental health foods to her children who often dreamed of Wonder Bread.  Family roadtrips were a highlight each summer with no stops for fast food, no historical markers missed, and full novels read to restless kids to help pass the time.  Jean danced beautifully in and out of her home!

Jean was also a devoted friend, always ready to greet with a smile that engulfed her face. She loved Christmas season as a chance to send cards and receive news of friends and loved ones.  Pre-dating Facebook (but embracing it once it was invented!), she always tried to keep in touch with those she loved and who loved her.  Jean perfected the social dance.

Diagnosed with M.S. 43 years ago, Jean never let that setback define her.  Instead she re-wrote the book on how to live with the disease.  Always believing that a breakthrough or cure was just around the corner, she willed herself to be ready for it when it came.  Even as she lost the use of half her body, she never stopped “dancing.”  And as her body grew tired, her spirit only grew stronger.  She became a living example of the phrase “You are what you think you are!” 

Even with seven children and thirty-three grandchildren, somehow she never missed their defining moments—big or small.  She attended a million sporting events, music and dance recitals, Eagle projects, charity fundraisers—you name it, she was there cheering.  Even when standing on her own two feet was no longer an option, Jean spun a mean wheelie dancing at her grandchildren’s wedding receptions. 

Selfless with her time and knowledge, she was always engaged in helping others with their health challenges. Her mind was strong, and her memory amazing; she spent a lifetime learning something about everything, and then seeking out people she thought might benefit from her insights.

In word and deed, Jean was a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ.  To Mom, life was a gift; love was a dance.  She showed us all how to live right and dance well until the very end.  We’ll love and miss you, Mom!

Jean is survived by her husband David Orin Dance, children: D. Richard Dance (Julienne), Alan R. Dance (Julie), Linda Orme (Steve), Diane McDonald (Bill), John R. Dance (Sharla), Anna Heimburger (Matthew), and her brother Lynn Richards (Bea).  She has 33 grandchildren, 25 in-laws, and 40 great-grandchildren—and counting!  She is preceded in death by her loving parents, her sister Ruth Payne, her brother Grant Richards, and her son Grant Russell Dance.

Funeral services will be held May 4^th, 2013, at 11:00 a.m. at the LDS chapel in Factoria, 4200 124^th Ave SE, Bellevue, Washington—with a viewing that morning from 9:30-10:30 a.m.  Interment will follow at Sunset Hills Memorial Park, 1215 145^th Place SE, Bellevue, Washington.  Flowers/well wishes may be directed to Bleitz Funeral Home, 316 Florentia Street, Seattle, Washington  98109.

Day 89 April 27 Gorgeous Spring Day

Today was a gorgeous spring day in Provo Utah where I was able to watch my 7th child, Jacob, play soccer with an elite BYU soccer team that tied the Western Wyoming University soccer team.

Jacob scored two of the team's four goals and had a shot at two to three more close ones.

I had to shoot the green grass, the mountains and snow in the background and the warm blue sky. Jacob is in the middle about to receive the ball.

For exercise today I walked 5 miles along the Provo River. I thought walking was easy but it uses different muscles, not the same ones as running yesterday, so it was tougher than I thought.

I am sure that I negated all the benefits of exercise by eating at Cafe Rio this evening. Their portions were way too large for cutting down on weight. That is a problem with out of town travel.

Day 88 April 26 SLC Mountain Run

My daughter Maria took us on a 7 mile run in the mountains above homes in Salt Lake City. Here is a picture of us at the beginning. I still look out of shape and overweight. It is taking awhile, but I did run with my daughter, son, and wife so that is positive.

I am on the left, my wife Julienne in the middle, and daughter Maria on the right. Look at the hills and trails behind us that we are about to run. SLC is about 2,500 feet higher than CDA is and you can feel it in your lungs. My son Jacob ran with us and took the picture.

A few miles later after going up the hills we are winding around the mountains. I stayed back and took this picture of Julienne and Maria on the trail below me. Isn't it pretty.

It was the type of run that made me enjoy life and its beauties and forget somewhat about my Mom's death exactly one week ago.

We had to get home, shower, and dress up in a hurry because we went to dinner with Adam's father and grandparents at the DoDo in SLC then onto the Utah Symphony where Maria played with the violin section.

Here is the picture of us afterwards in the Abravanel Hall by the glass sculpture.

From left to right is Julienne, Richard, Maria, and Adam.

Day 81 - April 19 - My Mother Died Today

My mother passed away peacefully today at 11:40pm at night. We suspected it was coming soon, but did not know exactly when. I last talked to her about a week ago when passing through Garland, UT in the spring time. I called and told her she would probably never see her birthplace again in this life so I was going to describe it to her on this beautiful spring afternoon with the snow shining, yet snow falling, on new lambs in the fields.  We had a great conversation.  I called my Dad today to see how she was doing and he said "fine" so I thought we'd have another few weeks.

No one has died in our family for decades. All my children still have both sets of grandparents. We have had many four generational pictures. So I didn't know quite what to expect. Here is what I texted to my immediate brothers and sisters and in turn my  children that evening about their grandmother, Jean Richards Dance. Death is a special time for a family and bonding together. I love my mother, father, all my brothers, sisters, and children. 

--------------------------------------


I am now fully awake thinking wonderful thoughts of Mom being with her parents Nona and Papa, her brother Grant and Sister Ruth, and her son Grant. Others too but that is the inner circle. She is probably wriggling her toes in the dirt like Jake did in Avatar and running with the wind or perhaps soaring. A special time for her tonight.

What would we do without all of you: Alan was there at a moments notice, Linda and Anna timed things perfectly, John released her from this life, and Diane was her nursemaid and care taker.

I felt it was coming soon and asked Dad this afternoon if Julienne and I should this come this weekend. No he said, she is doing fine . I wanted to talk to Mom one last time but the portable phone was already off and the WW II movie back on before it could be transferred.

Tom and Kim were going to visit tomorrow during their layover flight in Seattle.

But I have no regrets. Mom knew she was loved and cared for. She was able to see the entire video of memories. She left posterity a message on the video Frank McCord made. She didn't throw away her VHS tapes yet of how to care for your Corian countertops. We got most of her stories and at the reunion honored the Richard's line.

I think it was a full live, well lived.

She will occupy her seat with her ancestors and now we must do our part to join her.

We live in a glorious age with the gospel knowledge that we have. I look forward to seeing you all soon.

Diane we all have special feelings for you being the family representative to our mother this past few months. We love you and thank you for a job well done.

Richard

Sent from my iPhone

Day 78 April 16th - New Beginnings

After a week of no exercise, I'm glad April 15th is past and done. This morning Julienne suggested I go on a run. It was a bright and cheery morning at 30 degrees, with prospects of a beautiful spring day. I didn't particularly want to run. I think your endophins die down after a week of no exercise. I didn't seem to want to work hard either, but decided to go and get started again. I am glad that I did.

After toiling up the hills for the first 3/4 mile I set off in earnest to run 3 miles. I felt if I stopped that I would quit so I just put my head down and steadily pushed through it. Not particularly fast miles at an 8:45 pace but I made it and felt I was getting back into training.

After showering I decided to weigh myself and what a reward I got. 166.4 pounds, the lowest yet and still in sync with loosing a pound a week. I am ready to resume working hard and glad that tax season is over and doesn't start up again until after the Hayden Sprint and CDA Triathlon.

Day 77 - April 15 - Boston Marathon

As I was trying to finish up all the work for the April 15th tax deadline I had a number of friends running the Boston Marathon

• My wife's sister Karen Tree
• My wife's uncle Lowell Hawkes
• My daughter's roommate Sarah Jackson
• Our good friends from Bellevue - Matt & Carrie Hong
• and others

We started getting texts from a number of our friends about the bombs at Boston and stayed in touch with text messages until we felt all were okay. We watched the 8pm news at night that had a special on the Boston Marathon and the bombs.

It seems so much more personal when it is in your own homeland and you have friends that were at the finish line so close to the bomb blasts.

Evan Tree still can't hear out of one of his ears it was so loud.

For a detailed report about the race and the blast check out Matt and Carrie Hong's blog finished at 5am this morning.

It is at http://thehongs.blogspot.com which should be a hot link you can immediately go to.

Day 76 April 14th - Setback Week

I feel like I have had a setback today and this week in general. I have not run or exercised for the last 8 days. During the last few months the biggest lapse has been a day, ar the most two, but not a week or anything close to it.

Then I weighed into at 168.2 which is the first week I have not gone down in weight since the beginning.

Then my Mom is doing terrible. She is not eating, not drinking, not breathing well at all and mostly asleep. Apparently this morning she really took a turn for the worse and the hospice care workers say it is hours, days, or weeks before she will pass away. My Dad is getting weaker every day and seems to be falling, breaking bones, and not feeling of worth since he can't take care of my mother in her last days here on the earth.

Being a tax guy takes its toll when you get closer to April 15th and the Oct 15th deadlines. I don't do tax returns, but receive calls to support clients and their CPAs by doing side projects on critical tax issues for their returns. Some of the issues I was researching last week made millions of dollars of tax gain for certain clients so I had to be dead on and make sure my conclusions were sound. All of this takes a toll on the body.

I also feel like I want to eat, snack, take seconds, bigger servings, more often, etc.  So it's been a setback week.

Day 69 - April 7th - General Conference & My Mom

I was able to attend the LDS 183rd Annual General Conference in Salt Lake City today.  Again it was with Maria and Adam.  She and my daughter-in-law Kim Dance are two people that inspired me to set a goal to run a triathlon this year. I watched Kim run the Hayden Tri and Maria run the CDA tri last year. I decided that it was time I did one and participated with them.

My son Jeff Dance just called me and reported that while I was in SLC many family members gathered in Bellevue, WA to be with my ailing mother who could die any day now. My brother John Dance gave my Mom a blessing and in the blessing released her from this earth life to go on to the next when she is ready. 

Here is a picture of my Mom about a year ago when things first started to get serious.

That is one of the many teachings of Jesus that gives me peace and comfort, that there is an afterlife and that as Terryl and Fiona Givens says in the book The God Who Weeps "God has the desire and the power to unite and elevate the entire human family in the kingdom of heaven, and, except for the most stubbornly unwilling, that will be our destiny." 

I have a firm and abiding believe that my mother is going to a good place and I expect to see her again with both her legs, without MS, in a healthy vibrant state. I would love to see her again before she passes away, but I look forward even more to being reunited with her in a family relationship in heaven.

Day 68 - April 6th - Run & Spin

This morning I went running with my daughter Maria and Adam to a spin class a few miles away at a Gold Gym in Salt Lake City.

She said we were really hauling, maybe 7:30 per minute miles or less running there. I couldn't keep it up for long though at Salt Lake's altitude. It is much higher than Hayden.

I thought I knew something about spinning. At the Kroc Center I got up to level 10 for 45 minutes, but at a spin class they work you so much harder.

Out of the saddle climbs were the toughest for me, but I didn't let up. I knew that I had worked hard, because I could feel it the next day.

Day 67 - April 5th - Truck Fix Up

Today I took the truck into a Toyota dealership for elk repair and left it for four hours. I was in my running gear so I could run the 3-4 miles back to the hotel in the gusty wind and rain.  With the trip I hadn't been able to exercise the past two days so it felt good.

That night I attended a Ballet West production of "Jewels" with Adam and my daughter Maria who played in the orchestra pit.

I found an unexpected side benefit to training for a triathlon. I enjoyed the ballet. I saw the balance and finesse with which they moved. Having had Melissa (fitness coach at the Kroc Center) give me a few fitness balance exercises I knew first hand something about how difficult they were. I think I was able to appreciate this form of art more than I had in the past.

Day 66 - April 4th - Snow College special offer

I had driven through the night as I was speaking to the business club of Snow College in Ephraim UT. My wife and I had met the President Scott Wyatt when the Snow College basketball team came to Coeur d'Alene and beat NIC before losing the championship the next night to SLC. We were intrigued that Snow (normally a 2 year community college) had a 4 year music degree in concert with the Julliard music school in New York. We were fascinated at how Snow College arranged this and that they were offering high school students in Northern Idaho a fantastic price of in-state tuition, around $2,900 per semester rather than out-of-state tuition about $10,000 per semester.  See www.snow.edu

Julienne and I wanted to spread the word about this special offer to Northern Idaho high school students. We even wrote an article for the CDA Press, but they were not interested as it might divert some students from NIC.

After the speech I met with the President and CFO and found out that it was true. Any high school student from Northern Idaho that wants to attend Snow College can get in this year for in-state tuition prices. You just need to email the President and tell him you are from northern Idaho. His email address is scott.wyatt@snow.edu. If you are in music and like Julliard I would check into it.

Day 65 - Wed April 3 - Hit Elk

Today I took off for my consulting and speaking appointments. It took a long time to leave as I was busy answering tax questions for clients. I don't do tax returns, but do a fair amount of tax consulting on failed TICS, real estate deals, conservation easements etc. It became later and later when I was ready and leave and finally left at 6:30pm.

I was in the mountains of Montana about 10pm when I hit an Elk in the middle of Interstate 90. Fortunately she was not standing or I would have most likely been crushed when the body came through the windshield.

The elk was perpendicular to the right lane and I hit the neck and hindquarters becoming airborn but not going off the road.  I immediately heard strange noises from the Toyota Tacoma truck and stopped at the next exit near DeBois Montana (just before St Regis) and called a tow truck and mechanic. We didn't see damage to the body of the truck other than a lot of long elk hair, blood, and guts. He seemed to think that the damage was mostly to the undercarriage but the truck seemed to be running and I would be late to speak if I delayed too long, so I continued on driving through the night and called in the insurance claim as I was driving on.

I believe that the technical name for it is WVC Wildlife Vehicle Collisions. Apparently there are 1-2 million per year in the United States and the frequency is increasing. See the Reduction study made for Congress in October of 2008 at http://environment.fhwa.dot.gov/ecosystems/wvc/index.asp

Day 64 - Tues Apr 2 - No Workout

It seems like some days just conspire against you for working out. I had it all planned in to stop work at 4pm and go to do some Alter G running, but it was booked up. So I was going to the Kroc center but didn't have time. So I was going to run/bike around the 4-10 mile loop but it was too close to dinner, and then started to run while fertilizing the lawn but had to help with dinner and dinner guests, so when I went to bed I still had on my running biking clothes but no run in. My legs finally stopped burning from Sat all day fast skiing at Schweitzer. I think the squeeze machine at Physio One would have helped a lot had I used it Sat night or even Monday.

Day 63 - Mon Apr 1 - Tax Calls

No workout today. It seemed like everyone called non stop regarding real estate tax questions. One of the things I do for work is handle thorny real estate tax questions especially involving foreclosures and involuntary conversions. It seems like the phone rang non stop from 6:30am to 6:30pm and then I had evening obligations. I felt like this was one day that I gained weight and lost momentum.